Start at the Dam
For people who just want the facts and none of what Paul calls my “poetic crap” (i.e. sentences), I finished the Nine Edges today, in about 3hrs 54 minutes. Which is just under my target of four hours.
Here’s the rest, for those of you gifted with textual endurance. It was perfect weather with blue skies and a cool breeze - the best I have seen since I started my training. The runners assembled for a mass start beneath the reservoir dam. There were some weird pre-race rituals to be gone through for some, and I assume that the wriggling and writhing bodies on the grass were stretching themselves. I felt obliged to touch my toes a couple of times before we were released. I was astonished at the pace that people set off at, but felt I ought to keep up, at least to start with. There was quite a split created by a couple of different routes up to Derwent Edge and I had fortunately chosen the shorter. Being me, I had worked out the split times I needed to achieve at each of the checkpoints in order to sneak under my target of four hours and I was nicely on track when I got onto Derwent Edge. I remembered the first time I had run here when I had been horrified at the distant view of Stanage, not even halfway to the finish.
I was going at quite a pace, with a pack of half a dozen people behind me including one woman who was probably using me as a windbreak. I was going well and was ahead of my planned time. When we started the drop down to Moscar several of the pack with better downhill technique disappeared ahead of me, never to be seen again. By the time I was at Burbage North, I was almost 15 minutes ahead of my plan. I knew I was running too fast and would pay later - novice mistake. Of course the big question you are all asking is “how were your nipples?” Throughout my training I’ve struggled to protect myself from jogger’s nipple. I’ve tried plasters, zinc oxide tape, fabric strapping and even duck tape. Nothing stays on. So I invested in some “Nipguards”. The shop assistant made me say it twice. From the Nipguards website, “NipGuards adhere directly to the base of the nipple and are 100% guaranteed not to fall off until you decide to remove them”. I don’t know what the nature of the guarantee is, but I presume it includes consequential loss and I am entitled to a new left nipple at least. Blood was starting to stain my running vest when I met Ruth at Burbage and applied a new Nipguard to the remaining tatters.
Me, drinking water.
From Burbage onwards things got progressively harder and my target time seemed to be slipping away from me as my early pace took its toll. I was also sweating a substance which causes temporary blindness. I eventually found another runner moving at a good pace and we stuck together until I made my lumbering push to the end along Birchen Edge. I almost got myself run over on the road at the finish.
The marshalls at the checkpoints were a great, amicable and encouraging bunch of people and they were no different at the finishing line - thanks to them for a well organised, friendly race along a stunning route. I collected my token for a free pint at the Robin Hood, as well as a t-shirt, and headed over with Ruth for a pint of bitter. We stopped going to the Robin Hood several years ago (can you remember why Kevin?), and it didn’t really float my boat this time either, although the chips looked good.
A great event, and I’m now looking forward to rehydrating in the traditional manner. Thanks to everyone who supported, encouraged and sponsored me. I’ve raised about £700 quid so far for Edale Mountain Rescue, which is well worth the loss of one nipple. Please feel free to post your abusive comments, as ever.
